Last Saturday I went to the Build Your Blog Conference put on by the amazing ladies of Six Sister’s Stuff. I came away really inspired by this conference. The keynote speaker was given by Brooke Walker, the host of Studio 5, and it was amazing. Really, very inspiring. And it got me thinking about what I really want for this blog, the BIGGER purpose.
I used to think the bigger purpose was to inspire creativity. But I realize I want it to go even beyond that. Because why do we create? Because it makes us feel good. It makes us proud of what we did. It gives us a reason for others to validate us. And why do we need that validation? Why do I need this validation? Because I think all of us, deep down inside, suffer from a little insecurity. And maybe that’s not quite so deep down for some of us.
I have this friend Kelli. She’s amazing, seriously. But the thing I love the most about her is that she is such a great listener. And man, when I get going, I can REALLY talk someone’s ear off. So having a friend who is a good listener is like a gold mine. I call her my own private therapist. And she asks these simple questions that really made me realize that yes, I have some deep-seated insecurities. Even at the age of 28, married with 3 kids, when I guess the world thinks we should have it all figured out by now. Which is funny, because I most of the time I can convince myself I do have it all figured out.
But I’m still scared of going into a room of people by myself. I still tend to be like a 12 year girl who needs to have a friend or two to cling to. I wear Spanx like every day. And when it comes to blogging, I can’t help but compare myself to other people who have been blogging the same length of time as me and yet are practically world famous, doing great things, writing books, and making a million dollars (at least in my mind.) Sometimes I even compare myself to the bloggers who have been doing it twice as long as me. I know, it’s absolutely ridiculous. But I’m confessing here, I am sometimes ridiculous.
In a way, these insecurities help me. They are what keep me motivated to keep trying, to keep working harder. If I was constantly happy with where I was, I don’t know if I would ever aspire for more. And I also know that my insecurities will never go away completely. I wonder if I’ll be a 90-year-old woman wearing diapers and still be self-conscious about my wig and muffin top tummy? So the best thing I can do is to just try my best and keep it in check. Don’t dwell. Control the need to check email every hour in case Better Homes & Gardens decided they want to come shoot my house for their next magazine spread. Don’t check Google Analytics and chew my nails off. Remember that ultimately the things that are the most important are right in front of me–my amazing husband and kids.
So back to the conference and Brooke Walker and my bigger cause. What I have decided my bigger cause is to help promote self esteem. I really want to say help promote self esteem in women but I hesitate because of the 1 or 2 men who may read my blog and I don’t want them to feel left out (Brian.) Whatever, I’m just going to say it. I want my blog to help promote self-esteem in women. I hope to inspire you to try new things, to develop the creativity that EVERYONE has (I don’t care what you say–everyone has some element of creativity in them). And when you try those new things and succeed, you can feel great. You can be proud of the new talent you just displayed. You can receive validation. I LOVE it when readers tell me they tried out my tutorial or recipe. And I want to thank you back for even taking the time to try it out. (Because frankly, I’m still amazed that people even like my projects.)
I’m not trying to claim that my blog will be the answer to all your insecurities-slash-problems. Because hello–I’m not even my own answer. But I would love for y’all to think of me as someone positive, someone who is on your team, rooting you on. And if you have questions, ask me! I might have an answer. I might say I have no clue. But I will always try my best to help. I’ve even been practicing smiling more so people don’t think I hate them (cursed natural frown!)
One quick note: Another thing Brooke said is to not depend on validation to be happy. First off, I’ll be honest. I love the validation I’ve received through blogging. I love it when, on the rare occasion that my house is really clean, that people come over and admire the things I’ve done in my house. It fills my self-esteem bucket. But if you start relying on these validations to fill your bucket, that bucket is going to get stretched out over time and it will require more and more validation until it’s ultimately never enough. (That was pretty much Brooke’s entire point summarized and I don’t want to steal her speech.)
But now that my focus is clear, I’m going to try to make my blog a little more inspiring, more uplifting, more encouraging. If there is anything you would like to see from me or anything that you, personally, would like to share, please email me or leave a comment!
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