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Part 3: Home At Last

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The first week home with a new baby is unpredictable.  It was incredibly difficult with both my boys, but incredibly easy with E.  Yes, that’s right–the first week with E was easy.  I naively wondered why my mother had thought three was the hardest adjustment.  E slept all the time and only woke to eat.  Husband was home that whole week mostly and friends brought us dinner nearly every night.  I was so grateful that it had been going so well.

But that was short-lived.  E was growing older and sleeping less.  She was having lots of gas and pooping problems from her immature digestive system and crying a lot.  We soon learned that if she wasn’t tended to immediately, she would be screaming bloody murder within seconds.  Husband had to go back to school and I was left alone with three little kids.  Will decided he was not going to have naps anymore, resulting in a horrible tantrum every evening.  Many tears were shed by all of us.

I used to say that things were going pretty well if I hadn’t bawled in the shower.  Well, forget getting a shower, I bawled in the living room, the car, the bedroom.  Life with three is just hard.  I feel like I never knew what motherhood really was until I had three kids.  But then again, any number of kids is made much more difficult with a newborn, right?

I couldn’t wait until we left to Utah for Christmas.  And the trip was good–we had lots of people to entertain the boys and hold the baby.  But one of the hardest parts for me is breastfeeding, which I will write in more detail about later.  And I couldn’t wait to get back into the privacy of my own home.  No more hiding under a blanket to feed the baby!

Now that I’m back, things are SLOWLY improving.  E can sleep in her own bed for at least part of the night which allows me more restful sleep during that time.  I would like to transition her out of the bedroom in the hope that she will sleep better not smelling Mom and I will sleep better not hearing her little grunts and cries while she sleeps.

I’m super happy to have my healthy baby girl.  Really in love with her.   I mean seriously, isn’t she absolutely gorgeous?  But of all the stages of babydom, the newborn stage is probably my least favorite.  I hate to admit that, since they are still such precious miracles.  But it is just hard, hard, hard.

I really appreciate all your comments and suggestions via this blog and my Facebook, really.  It’s nice to know I’m not alone!

Read Part 1 Here

Read Part 2 Here

20 Comments

  1. That newborn phase is the one thing that keeps me from having a second child. I have always felt guilty talking about it, but the newborn phase for us, was awful. Of course you love your baby more than you could ever express, but it’s all just so HARD. Add difficulty nursing on top of that? Terrible. But thankfully like every childhood phase the newborn period is short lived. Thanks for being brave enough to talk about it. I hope it helps other new moms to not be riddled with the guilt I experienced for having all of those feelings. Hugs. . . I pray that it’s getting better day by day.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Thanks for the validation! It definitely is hard!

  2. Your baby girl is adorable. I am a new mommy to three myself, my newborn is now 3 months old. My twins are 2.5 years old. Thankfully my girl has been a breeze. She is going 7-8 hours at night now between feedings (not always sleeping those 7-8 hours, but at least the majority of it she is). I exclusively pump breastmilk during the day and nurse if she wakes between midnight and 6AM. It has worked for me, but with my twins I exclusively BFed with them too, in order to get some rest. THEY were hard. EXTREMELY hard. I feel for you! Do you have a lactation consultant with your hospital or La Leche League near you? One of my good friends was a LLL member for years, and she was my biggest support. Now all my babies were/are great latching on, that was never a problem for me. I had the hardest time tandem nursing with the boys, which is why I went to pumping. With my girl, it is just more convenient for me. I know how much she is drinking, and if she has gas, I can add a little gas medicine to the bottle. Hang in there, every baby is different and I know that isn’t much help. It will get easier, and if you even need support, feel free to email me! I may not be able to help, but having a shoulder to lean on helps!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Wow, that is serious business! I keep wondering how anyone with multiples DOES it!!

  3. I meant to put with my twins I exclusively pumped… not breastfed. Ooops.

  4. Shirley Lupton says:

    She is adorable and this to shall pass. Time flys and I am sure you will sleep through the night soon. I always enjoyed my quiet time with my children when they lay in my arms asleep after their feeding.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      That is precious. I will be happy to look back on those days and forget all the lack of sleep, haha!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Thanks Natalie!

  5. She is adorable! Three was a hard transition for me too, it does get easier I promise. Now my kids are all older 7,5, and 3….it’s so much easier! So it does get better. I can actually take them all to the store and not cringe the whole time or yell at them to stay right next to me haha. Hang in there!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Thanks for the encouragement! I know it will get easier and that this is a temporary hard time. It’s just enduring that hard time right?

  6. We have two little toddlers (boys), and had our third, a girl (yay!) in August. We named her Heidi. Cute name, huh? I agree about the newborn stage. Yes, it is amazing to bask in the miracle-ness of this new child, but it is hard, hard, hard. And doing it all with a body that’s adjusting to new hormones, a big belly, gas, sore nipples, etc… wow. Moms are amazing. You just enjoy that ADORABLE E, though, and remember that you are doing something wonderful for your daughter and for your Heavenly Father, and that you WILL sleep through the night soon. 🙂 Hugs. -Maggie

  7. Just wanted to stop by to let you know you have the cutest blog. Stumbled upon it while looking for a slipcover tutorial, and I’m learning a ton about sewing. I also really enjoy your insightful writing style – very entertaining. Best wishes with your newest addition & many blessings to you. – PB

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Thanks so much Patti!! Your comment made my day.

  8. Heidi,

    I love newborns too….but I love older babies SO much more. Charlotte is almost 9 months and what a joy!! She’s the first baby where nursing was easy, where I really felt a wonderful connection to her and where I’ve enjoyed most of the ride. I agree with you though, 3 is a whole different ballgame. It takes some letting go of your little idiosyncracies and learning to go with the flow. It takes a whole lot of patience and sometimes, a lot of tears. It takes a lot of growth from EVERYONE in the family, little boys included. Good luck! You ARE a wonderful mother. You have 3 young children. It’s draining and exhausting! But you’re doing fine and every day is a step closer to getting the hang of it.

    You’re great!

    Michelle

  9. Natalie Mitts says:

    The newborn phase is hard. That is one thing I am not looking forward to again! But you’re right – she is a doll! So beautiful!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Thanks Natalie! It’s rough for the first 6 weeks but it’s really getting better now. And she’s probably been forced into being on a routine because it’s the only way I can function with my full household.

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