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Forum Friday: Crying

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Did you ever see that Seinfeld where Jerry dates the crybaby?  “My frankfurter!!!”  

I’m so tired of all the crying.  Anyone else feel me on this one?  I seriously think my 3-soon-to-be-4-year-old cries way more than my 4-MONTH old.  I want him to just suck it up sometimes, ya know?

Of course there are legitimate reasons for crying for a child (or anyone, really.)  But it’s tricky to always determine what these are.  There are times when I have wanted to cry when I stepped on a toy.  But the wail of anguish that Will lets out when HE steps on a toy sometimes seems to be a bit much.  And even that seems justified.  He cries about everything though:  dropping his food on the floor, not getting to watch a movie, having to clean up his toys, the possibility of Lucas taking his toy or wrecking his tracks, and on and on and on…

And of course it’s not just Will.  Lucas and Ellie do their fair share of crying.  My friend asked me the other day, “How’s Ellie?  How her crying?”  to which I responded, “Oh she’s really good at it.”  But I of course excuse all of Ellie’s crying (free pass for babies) and usually let Lukey’s slide too…for now. And don’t even get me STARTED on me.  I cry All. The. Time.  I’m such a crybaby!

But Will is nearly four.  He’s going to be going to real preschool soon.  And then kindergarten.  I don’t want him to be the crybaby of the class.   I remember this boy skinning his knee when I was in first grade.  Something like that would have certainly set me to tears, but he was brave and didn’t cry at all.  I thought he was awesome and commenced to have a crush on him for the next nine years.

Do you have an emotional child?  How can you teach a child other kinds of reactions to negative situations?  Or should you just accept his/her sensitivity and hope they grow out of it?  I feel like there can be a way to teach your child to understand their emotions and use them appropriately.  But then again, maybe this is something out of our control, something we have to just be patient with.  What do you think?

7 Comments

  1. My 10 year old cries frequently. I find that it occurs most often when she’s hungry or tired or both. And her body burns through food rapidly so if we haven’t just seen her eating within the last 2 hours we nudge her to eat again soon. I can black beans in half-pint jars just so she can have an easy meal available to prepare for herself.

    This kid is also extremely sensitive – she’s quick to laugh and quick to cry. Crying is the “flip side of the coin” and I like the laugh side so I’m ok with the cry side.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Good to remember! My child is pretty easy to laugh and be happy too so maybe I’m not appreciating that enough. Thanks!

  2. I don’t have kids, but I was a nanny for a long time. I watched three kids from two families, a brother (W) and sister (L), and another girl (A). W was the crybaby of the bunch. I started with them with him and A where in kindergarten, and L was 3. W cried more than the two girls put together. If he didn’t win a board game, if he didn’t get to eat what he wanted, if I raised my voice at him, if his mom was late…ALL the time. And it wasn’t just tears, if he was really upset he was prone to running out the front door and halfway to his house. (We stayed at A’s house after school because her mom came home first; then we’d walk to W & L’s house which was half a block away, but around a corner and across the street.) It was pretty terrifying at first, because I used to think his parents were going to think I was doing something to make him cry all the time, but apparently his outbursts were not limited to the time he was with me, so they were used to it as well. I would just let him be, and cry it out. If he ran outside, I would leave the door open, and check every few minutes to be sure I could see him (he’d generally stop and hide in a big bush two houses down, and it was on a cul-de-sac in a VERY safe neighborhood) but I’d just kind of ignore him. If he threw a tantrum in the game room because he lost, the girls and I would take the game to the kitchen and play without him. If it happened when friends were over, they would ask me if he was ok, or if they did anything wrong, but no one ever made fun of him about it, and he never had any problems at school because of it. By the time I stopped working for them (when he was 8) it had gotten A LOT better. He was still the more sensitive one of the bunch, but I think it had to do with him being the first child. This is more anecdotal than helpful, but I think it’s just in some children’s personalities.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Actually that does help! It always good to hear about other kids who are very sensitive and emotional. Thanks!

  3. My 6 year old cries a lot too. A lot more than our 2 1/2 year old. I have no idea what to do about it.

    lexmallabooks.com

  4. I have the same problem with my soon-to-be 6 yr old. My husband and I try to be patient (like when he cries every time he doesn’t win a game or get his way while playing with others), but more often than I want to admit we do say “K, Buddy, time to suck it up.” I’ve decided he is simply more sensitive and that is just something we’ll have to deal with. It gets tough though. When I first read this post I’m like “whoa, is Heidi reading my mind now?” but I don’t think you are :). Hang in there and let me know if you find anything that works for you cuz right now I guess I’m suckin’ it up too.

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