I had a really, really sad moment on Saturday.
One of those moments where you just feel like a terrible, awful mother and you’re so sad that you broke your little boy’s heart.
As you might have realized, I am starting to have an addiction to thrifting. I find myself getting super excited to go to Savers or Goodwill to see what junky treasures I can unearth. I don’t really think this is a bad thing (there are much worse addictions!) but it had been a little out of control last week.
Every other Saturday morning is 50% off everything at Goodwill. I’d never been before but I had a feeling that if you wanted to get anything good, you’d have to go early. This Saturday I got up early (cuz my kids wake me up EARLY) and my husband had to go to a service project. I decided to go to the sale and we managed to get out the door and to the store in time for the 9:00 am opening time.
It was a zoo! It was like Black Friday. It was absolutely crazy! And I was in such a hurry I wasn’t really paying close attention to any little details…like whether or not my two-year-old had his beloved Froggy with him.
Here’s a fun little tidbit to add to the drama: My son wanted a balloon so I got him one. He immediately let go of it and bawled his head off when I wouldn’t get him another one. Shortly after, I was ready to go and I realized that my baby had dropped my keys somewhere and they were now lost in the store. So we fought the crowd around and around the store searching everywhere. Finally a store employee found them and by this time I was really, really ready to go. And then my son uttered this horrific words:
If you know my son, you will understand that this Froggy toy is like an appendage to him. He’s had it since he was born. He literally takes it EVERYWHERE. He will leave it somewhere in the house and cry and cry until we find it. He talks to it like it’s his best friend and hugs and kisses it. It’s his best source of comfort when he gets hurt or is sad. And it is the one toy that he definitely will NOT share. Even my baby knows how special it is and therefore gets his hands on it whenever he can.
Now it is not ideal to lose a toy like this at the store. But what is worse than that is this: Losing a ratty old stuffed animal in a store that sells ratty old stuffed animals. But I’d just combed the store searching for my keys and hadn’t seen it. And I didn’t even recall him having it at all, so I was pretty sure it was safely at home. We drove home.
My husband came home so I went back to the store to search for another hour while my husband scoured the house. No Froggy. And I went back to my car and just cried. I cried for my little boy who just lost his best friend. I cried because I knew we couldn’t replace this toy. And I cried because I wanted him to have this toy until he died just like I still have some of my own stuffed animals. There is just so much love in that toy. And I cried because I felt like it was all my fault. I had even had a feeling telling me to just stay home and not go, but I shrugged it off. I had been a selfish mommy and now my son was paying the price. I prayed so hard to find that Froggy, but I kind of felt like I wouldn’t find it because it was my punishment for being selfish.
I went back home and searched for a similar Froggy on ebay. My hopes were not high since I had checked about a year ago to no avail. But miraculously there were actually two available. I bought one and it’s coming this week. When Will saw the picture of the new Froggy on my computer he said, “Froggy! I need get him out!” (of the computer). So we printed out a picture for him to cuddle up with in the meantime. But my husband and I still worried about our lost, lonely, and scared Froggy that was in a strange place missing his Will.
But here’s an unexpected turn of events: My husband had gone back Saturday evening with a picture of the toy and told them to call if it turned up. Guess what? It turned up!! They left me a message on my phone this afternoon and told me they found it! My heart did a happy dance and I drove my kids to the store to pick it up. I was seriously glowing. My son was overjoyed and has not parted with him since.
This sounds like such a silly thing for me to get so worked up about…It’s a stuffed animal, Heidi!! But the hardest part was knowing that I had caused so much pain to my darling little boy who is so innocent and pure. He kept saying “Froggy’s at the store. I miss him!”
For anyone who is a mother, seeing your child be so sad is such a hard thing, regardless of what it is about.