One year ago my brother released his wife from life support and officially let her spirit leave this earth. It’s the anniversary week of the hardest week of his life, of really our family’s life. I know that so many of you have said so many prayers for my brother and his family and I appreciate that so much.
One year later, I can’t say we are all doing much better and healed up nicely. But it’s not so bad. My brother told me this week hasn’t been as hard as he was afraid it would be. And yesterday I spent the afternoon helping Kurt go through all the boxes he packed up last year from his house with his wife and was storing in my parents’ basement.
He opened one box and discovered a little notepad that his wife had left a note on. It said something like “Kurt, Mr. So-and-So called on Wednesday (sorry I forgot!) and you need to call him back.” I watched him read that note and wondered what his reaction would be. He smiled and let out a little laugh and said “She’s so cute.” It was, very briefly, like as if nothing had changed, that his wife was still here and he would just go home and see her in a few hours.
And that’s the part that still breaks my heart. We believe in eternal families and eternal marriages and I know that my brother believes that after he dies, he will go join his wife in the afterlife. But the hardest part is all those years back on earth, missing her, wondering how to stay connected, feeling scared that we’ll start forgetting the little things about her. And that his kids really won’t remember their wonderful mother. But I know that when they leave this earth and Alice comes to greet them in Heaven, they will know her absolutely. And maybe it will be as if no time had passed since her premature death.
My brother is doing better. He seems happier. And I think that we are all on an upward road for the next year. I feel confident that things will shape up to be okay, even good. And the kids are alright. Baby F is the sweetest little girl and she just turned one.
That’s the thing about life…as cliche as it sounds, it really does throw you some curveballs. I’m praying I don’t get a horrific curveball like losing my own husband or children, but you never know. And that’s why I am so grateful for my faith in God who has a plan for all of us, who loves us, and that we will all be together again. If I didn’t have that knowledge I would be a much different person.
Every day I’m just going to try to be the best person I can be and make sure my husband and kids know I love them. And every day I will thank God for all that He has given me because I truly do have so much and have been very, very blessed. My trials are so minor compared to others who I see struggling. And I know I can’t escape hard times, because plenty more will come. But each day is a gift, so I’m going to try to remember to cherish them.
Thanks for the update. We think about Kurt quite often, wondering how he & the kids are doing. Our hearts continue to go out to your family. I’m so grateful for the knowledge of the gospel & for eternal families; I don’t know how I could face life without it.
A sweet update even though my heart still hurts for all of you. It’s really difficult to think that the kids will not know or remember her as their mother. Thank God, we have Him to lean on! I don’t mean to sound ugly but I always wonder how people get through life without Christ and faith.
xo
Pat
Aw this is lovely 🙂
Thank you for sharing this….Your sister-in-law seems like such a wonderful person and even in this tragedy she has inspired me to try to be a better wife and mother to my own family. Life is short; thank you for reminding me to make every day count.
Thanks. She really does inspire me to be a better person every day!
Thanks for this beautiful post Heidi. It is good to see your brother smiling, even though I’m sure that there are many rough days. What a happy reunion all of you will have one day. *Hugs*
In heaven, things are perfect. That is the nature of heaven. But here on earth, we have to work through things. Having God in our lives only helps us; it does not protect us from pain or life. I am glad your brother is healing from this tragedy, He will never forget her, and one does learn to live with it somewhat with time.
Hi, I came on over to check out your awesome pegboard, thanks for the tutorial. Also, this post is lovely. I am so sorry for the loss in your family and faith in God is really the only thing that helps us move forward. Thanks for sharing and reminding me how important the daily grind and mundane things really are.
Alice and I were Laurels together in the Coppell Ward in Texas. I moved into her ward our senior year of high school. She was such a talented pianist. I was always impressed and amazed at her discipline to achieve so much musically while still only in high school. She was the type of person that you never forgot-she made that kind of impression. I have wondered how her husband was doing so I am glad you posted this.