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My Strange Addiction

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I believe in therapy. Basically I believe in talking to someone to sort through your issues and problems.  And sometimes if they are a little too complex, someone who has studied human behavior is excellent to help you figure things out.  I’ve been to therapy several times in my life–I’m not afraid to admit it.

Let’s think this out, shall we?  As women, what do we really all want, pretty much all the time?  Someone to talk to.  Scratch that–someone who will LET us talk while they listen.  And that’s one reason why women can’t get enough ‘girl talk’ time…because we are all bursting to say our piece and since we all interrupt each other, we can never get in enough words.  So sometimes we need therapy.  Someone who will just listen and make OUR problems a priority.

But therapy isn’t always an option…So what do we do?  What do I do?  What I’ve ALWAYS done. I talk to myself.

All. The. Time.   Out Loud.

One evening, after a very rough day with my kids, I told my hubby that I just needed to get OUT of the house by myself for awhile.  So I drove to Walmart to return something I’d needed to anyway.  And as I pulled into the parking lot, I found that I couldn’t get out of the car.  I couldn’t face the Walmart circus quite yet.  So I sat in my car and talked to myself, out loud.  For about a half hour. It was literally as if I was in a therapy session, only there was no one taking notes and saying, “And how does that make you FEEL?”

I let my thoughts wander freely, discussing topics with myself about everything from how wretched my kids behaved that day, how I feel a failure as a mom, to why on earth people still smoke cigarettes. And when I went home later, I felt great.  Fully refreshed and ready to face whatever came at me.  I believe I might have even formed a new resolve to be the most patient mother ever.

And here’s the thing…I’ve done this since I was a little kid.  I would start my little self-talk therapy sessions out as prayers to God.  But when they became an hour-long recap of my day, it was clear that I couldn’t call it a prayer anymore.  I mean, He really doesn’t need to hear everything He just witnessed AGAIN.  It’s no Sports Center.

So I just had to admit that I talk to myself out loud.  Am I alone in this?  Pretty sure I’m not, and pretty sure it’s not something that makes me insane.  Although some days I feel that if I DONT talk to myself I will become certifiable.  Like today.

The Carrot Incident.  

A bag of carrots. Two little boys. Mom in the bathroom.

My three-year-old found out that it’s apparently hilarious to chew up carrots and then spit them all over his brother.

Mom was not pleased.

Thank goodness for therapy.


  1. I’m sorry, but that explanation of the carrot incident literally made me laugh out loud. While drinking tea. Not pretty. My girls favoured the finer stuff, like talcum powder and bags of icing sugar, but thankfully they are now big enough to clean up after themselves.

    Oh, and I’m hearing you with the talking to self thing. Except I talk to the cat. Not sure if that makes me less crazy-cakes or more!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Ha–glad I brightened your day a little! 🙂

  2. I talk to my toddler. He’s 20 months and doesn’t know what I’m saying, but it helps just to say it out loud. I do, however, have long “conversations” with myself in my head while I’m driving. You are not alone!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Hey–that’s great for his development! I talk to my kids too but I guess I just have a lot to say! 🙂

  3. Jennwith4 says:

    Aren’t kids the darndest things! 😉 my thing is writing it all down. When I get overwhelmed I just write about it. And just wanted to share that yes God does want to hear about your day even tho He just saw it. He loves it when we talk to Him just like any one else!

    I Thessalonians 5:17 “pray without ceasing.”

    Hope you have a wonderful day!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Thanks Jenn! Great scripture.

  4. You are not nuts, I talk to myself all the time. I am in the car a lot and talk to myself often. Reflection is good. It makes you look at your life away from the situation. You think of different ways to handle a situation and how it made you feel. We have to give ourselves self therapy all the time. It’s how we grow.

    At least it wasn’t vomit.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Ha, thanks Jessica! And yes, vomit is worse! But I wouldn’t be mad about that you know? I would be worried.

  5. I’d say your little one is going to need a few sessions in therapy too after his rough day. I have to admit those pictures are some of the funniest I’ve ever seen. Your baby is absolutely adorable.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Thanks, I’m glad the pictures are cute because that moment, despite being slightly hilarious, was also very frustrating!

  6. I should definitely start talking to myself–I think I need it 🙂 And about the carrots–oh no! And that stuff will dry and stick around forever too :p

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      ya it’s helpful! 🙂 I was able to clean it up pretty well, and thankfully the carrots didn’t stain anything.

  7. Oh Heidi! I have to say that is the cutest spit carrot covered little boy ever. Although I would have to talk myself down from that one. I talk to myself sometimes too. It helps when things are rough. I guess that’s why we’re friends.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Haha…maybe it seems like I handled the carrot thing all rationally because there are pictures. But don’t you worry, I definitely was not a happy mom and pretty much wanted to run away and put myself in time out.

  8. Oh wow. Such a nice post. I suppose I’ve always talked to myself in my head. I think I’ve been afraid to do it out loud. But now I don’t think I’ll be so worried anymore. Do you talk out loud in front of people? Like, your kids? I’m just curious. Thanks.

  9. This made me think of a chapter of a book I had to read for a class last semester. It is called Awakening children’s minds by Laura E. Berk and it is wonderful. There is a chapter called Why Kids Talk to Themselves and the author spends a good 25 pages explaining the benefits and reasons behind ‘self-talk’. It is mostly talking about the developmental advantages for children, but I also think that the same benefits, such as aiding problem solving and self regulation are applicable to adults. So basically, I think that self-talk is a great method for dealing with problems and does set a good example for your children on how you problem solve. Rock on mom! 😀

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Good call Jamie–I definitely agree with the self talk thing (obviously!)

  10. barbara woods says:

    i do it all the time , it’s the only thing that keeps me sane

  11. At least he didn’t bust out some ranch dressing to go with the carrots:) Talk away!

  12. It is easy to justify talking to yourself…I always say “I have to talk to one smart person per day”! HA!

  13. Christina says:

    I totally do that. When others are around, it is more of a mumble to myself and Helaman always asks me what is going on in my conversation. I feel like it is just like plain ol’ thinking, except you can be more articulate and focused when it is out loud.

  14. So glad I stumbled on this post. I, too, talk to myself. I’m jobless now and home alone all day. Talk quite a bit to myself because Self always listens so patiently. When DS when to college, I took over his room and sleep there each night to get away from darling Snoring husband. One night when I couldn’t sleep I had a nice chat with myself and the next day my DH said he heard me talking in my sleep. Oops. Now must remember to whisper at night. I actually have read that psychologists think this is a good process.” Getting in touch with yourself, as it were. When I had a cat, I talked to him too. BTW, had three older brothers. I always feel for the youngest child. Chose to have just one myself.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      haha, good to know I’m not alone!

  15. I talk to myself out loud all the time. Sometimes my husband catches me and I feel a little embarrassed, but I’ve always done it too. It helps me prepare for public speaking or approaching a situation that is making me nervous or scared. On a side note, I totally wondered how your younger son managed to get that much carrot on himself. I know it’s only really funny to those of us that didn’t have to experience it first hand. At least carrots aren’t too hard to clean up.

  16. Hey Heidi it was fun meeting you and chatting last night! Hopefully I will see you at another event another time, Good Luck with the new baby coming, and by the way…..I totally talk to myself too:)

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Hi Britany! It was really good to meet you too, thanks for all your words of wisdom, haha! Your blog is so cute. Good luck with your busy life!

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      Haha, that makes me feel better! I think.

  17. I actually thought I was the only one who does this extensively. I mean, I know people talk to themselves, but do they have long drawn-out sessions of it constantly, every day? Last night I kept myself up talking about football to myself until after 1:30. I had to yell at myself to finally go to bed, just like I was my own Dad.

    That’s probably a benefit to being single. You don’t have anyone else to talk to, so you may as well just talk to yourself. Sometimes I like it a little too much. I’ve been doing this since at least 2nd grade, when some kid started making fun of me for it. But of course, I’ve kept doing it ever since.

    By the way, I love how you mentioned SportsCenter. But you have a good point of including God in your talks. I think when I do (which isn’t often enough), I have the most productive and uplifting conversations.

  18. WriterCrystal says:

    I know this is a few days old but I had to comment on it. I talk to my dog and cat. Constantly. I live alone (no kids, no hubby), and I’d go insane if I didn’t talk to SOMEONE. So, animals it is. I’m sure my neighbors think I’m crazy walking my dog and carrying on a conversation with her. But it helps me. Immensely. And some days it’s the only thing that helps.

    1. Heidi @ Honeybear Lane says:

      haha! Gotta talk to someone right? 🙂

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