I was actually excited to do my Weigh-In post this week because I lost weight. But life handed us a lemon this week. One gigantic heart-breaking lemon.
I appreciate all of your comments, love, and prayers. We thought for a brief moment that my sister-in-law would be healed. But God is all-knowing and He has another plan for Alice. She took a turn for the worse Monday night and was declared brain dead on Tuesday. She died of streptococcal toxic shock syndrome, caused by an infection of Strep A. She is leaving behind her husband (my brother) and three little kids. We are all so very heartbroken. I am also in complete shock.
For awhile it felt almost like a game–some scary, dramatic game. One where you play the game for a little while but then you’re ready to be done. “Okay–it’s time for Alice to get all better and for life to go on like normal!” But it can’t. And that is a giant slap in the face. And it doesn’t seem to real to me at all. I keep waiting for everything to return to normal.
Everyone who knew Alice would say the same thing: she was an angel. An absolute angel. She was the type of person who would light up when you entered the room and shout out your name, “Heidi!” She had the biggest most beautiful smile of perfect white teeth. She had long gorgeous brown hair. She laughed at everything. She was my favorite person to give gifts to because she got absolutely giddy when she unwrapped it. She was also an extremely gifted pianist, who studied in London and got her doctorate in piano. I feel absolutely privileged to have been a part of her life. I feel now more than ever, she must have been too good for this world. She was a much better person than I.
I think I’m still in the denial stage of grief. I really just cannot believe it’s happened. Every time I remember I just think it’s not real. It can’t be. She was always so strong and healthy and happy. But now she’s gone. Losing a loved one, on top of being incredibly sad, is just strange. It’s a strange reality that feels like a bad dream.
But that being said, I know Alice is in a better place. I know she has family in heaven who greet her with open arms. I’m so grateful for that knowledge, because it makes this a little bit easier. Earth life is not the end, I truly believe. We will see her again.
I love you, Alice. Until we meet again.
*I wish I had some better pictures but this is the best I can do on short notice. The next few weeks will be pretty busy so bear with me…the blog might get a little barren.